Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize