Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
