idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
