If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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