one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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