i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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