call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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