I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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