Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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