Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
