I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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