my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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