So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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