Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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