im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
where am i from again
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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