You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
