Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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