just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
