i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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