I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
