All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sorry about my life...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
