can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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