Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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