I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize