I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
