I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
