I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize