forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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