Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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