Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
