dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
