I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
