you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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