i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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