Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.