why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?