Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
