I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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