also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
