Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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