I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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