fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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