I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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