those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
