looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
