is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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