Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
