Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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