I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
