hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
