I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think my moral compass just broke
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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