maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The power of my boobs compel you
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
