I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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