Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
