Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
