i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
